Living in a Gosiwon for 10 Years: Experiencing an 'Intermittent Family' for a Week

[SBS Special] Intermittent Family ③

Can strangers feel more like family than real family?

The SBS Special broadcast on the 14th shed light on new forms of family under the theme of "Intermittent Family."

In Angol Village in Dobong-gu, Seoul, numerous people were living together in a large mansion that looked like something out of a movie. They referred to each other as "the same tribe." Notably, while they clearly were not biological relatives, they drew attention by showing a closeness just like a real family.

From children to adults, they went on a hike together. There was someone carefully looking after the children. It was Jeong Yeong-gyeong, who looked a bit young to be the mother of the children. She said, "I'm an aunt. Today, I'll be taking four kindergarteners around." In contrast, the children's mothers enjoyed their freedom away from their children. One of the mothers said, "The children like their aunts and uncles more than their mothers. When things like this happen, they ask, 'Who is going to take care of me today?'"

A large family made up of 50 people from 14 households, occasionally playing the role of family for one another—they are an intermittent family called "Community Eunhye." A total of four tribes live together, and single women formed one of the tribes. They enjoyed some leisure time on the rooftop.

However, they took on the role of babysitting the children once a month. The children followed and liked their aunts more than their parents. Taking care of children was not an easy task for the single women.

Their journey began with a small meeting once a week. As it developed, they started living together, and eventually, the community even built a house themselves. They usually live their own individual lives, but occasionally become family for one another.

Jeong Yeong-gyeong, one of the single women, shared the motivation behind entering community life: "We shared our lives and studied together, and our relationships deepened. As a result, we developed a desire to live together, and we began an experiment in living together." She added, "Because loneliness was underlying my life, daily life itself felt lethargic."

They found joy in community living and developed a belief that they could be a great source of support for one another. As their bonds continued, they began interacting with single-parent union families and single-male union families centered around the community, launching a shared housing project in 2016. However, they were all very different people.

Jeong Hyeon-a, a single woman, said, "When it was mentioned that we would live with children, there was fear about entering an unfamiliar world. 'Will I be able to get along with children? What if I end up having to look after them when I don't want to?' There was a sense of burden."

Therefore, creating a home that could satisfy everyone was of the utmost importance. First, they arranged the union families who had previously lived together in small numbers, and came up with a plan to group people into tribes to accommodate newcomers. What they paid the most attention to was the shared space. The main hall built in the basement serves as a symbol of the community. Once built, it brought benefits that exceeded expectations, leaving everyone satisfied.

In the building created through everyone's ideas, children made their own rules, learned lessons on their own, and grew. As a result, the children did not complain about the rules in order to get along together.

When night fell and the children went to sleep, the adults' hobby time began. They enjoyed their personal time by holding large and small hobby classes in the shared space. Hwan-hee's mother, from Tribe 2 of Community Eunhye, expressed her satisfaction with community life, saying, "This time is heaven. We are free, happy, and healthier."

Construction of the Community Eunhye housing began in May 2016. The community's philosophy was incorporated into one basement level and three floors above ground. Each floor featured a distinct living room, and a stylish cafe was also created, with significant costs invested into it. In addition, a separate powder room was installed in the space where the single women of Tribe 4 live. Consequently, the bedrooms became smaller.

Lee Ji-yeon, a single woman, explained, "We recruited people to move in. Among the applicants, some had a certain amount of assets and had to liquidate them before moving in. But there were also people who genuinely wanted to join but found it difficult due to financial issues." Thus, the tribe members who wanted to experience community life pooled their efforts to reduce construction costs so they could live together. Those without assets paid monthly rent to stay.

Lee Ji-yeon works as a lawyer at a law firm in Seocho-gu, Seoul. Even though it requires a 1-hour-and-30-minute one-way commute, she chooses to live in the community. She stated, "Living alone was comfortable. But that framework was broken down a lot. I came to realize that being together is good."

She also said she truly enjoys spending time with the tribe's children. "The children are so bright. Just being with them makes me feel energized," she said. Recently, Lee organized an orchestra with the children to practice and learn dances together. Last year, they even filmed a movie together. By living together, she was leading an enriched life.

The broadcast also highlighted "Sohaengju," a co-housing type residence established in 2011. The representative of Sohaengju said, "We built the house by each investing 20 million won." Min-su, who spent his adolescence there, expressed his gratitude toward the uncles he lived with: "When you feel like someone is vaguely cheering you on, it feels very reassuring. They cheer for you unconditionally. Even though I caused a lot of trouble when I was young, they always looked at me with warm eyes."

The children living in Community Eunhye are both family living under one roof and friends attending an alternative school together. The older children formed a part-time job tribe and earned money by doing household chores. This was to raise funds for a trip they plan to take together in October. The children said, "It feels rewarding to see the savings build up steadily." Another child explained, "I gained confidence that I can earn money. It means that with just a little effort, we are fully capable of earning money."

Meanwhile, Ko Yu-jin's parents divorced while living in the community. Ko said, "When they got divorced, I felt depressed thinking, 'Where should I go, and how empty will it feel if one of them leaves home?'" She added, "However, the aunts and uncles were a huge source of strength." In fact, the community's aunts and uncles acted as family and gave Yu-jin great support. Yu-jin said, "Having the aunts and uncles as pillars of support was huge, and I thought, 'Even if my mom and dad get divorced, I still have my aunts and uncles, so what do I need to worry about?'"

In addition, Choi Mi-jeong, who had lived in a gosiwon for 10 years, decided to experience "Community Eunhye." Until now, she had lived a life completely separated from living with others. After a fire broke out in the gosiwon where she previously resided, she came to Community Eunhye.

Choi said having meals facing other people felt awkward. She was simply in awe of an environment so different from a gosiwon. After her arrival, a monthly barbecue party was held. The party, which is always held with a new concept, had the theme of a "Trip to Thailand" this time.

Observing community life, Choi smiled and blended in with the people at some point. She explained, "They looked at me comfortably and started conversations with me. They were completely different from what I had imagined." Gradually, Choi realized that she could become real family with them.

Choi continued, "I used to live thinking that living alone was the best and that I was the most precious entity. But after coming here, I felt that not only myself but other people are also precious, especially when they treat me so dearly. My heart opened up."

After the one-week experience, Choi had to return to her gosiwon life. She said, "I became so immersed here that it became a precious experience, realizing that I too can get along with people like this, and that I too can interact with others." She eventually shed tears upon parting. She came to realize how immense it feels to have people who care about you, even if they are not real family.

Forming a family and living with strangers is not an easy task. Accordingly, Community Eunhye paid special attention to character education for the children. Lee Ju-hyeon, an alternative school teacher, said, "We try to set all standards based on the person who struggles the most. So we try to teach through experience that the more someone lags behind, the more we need to be their friend so everyone can enjoy themselves together."

What is the secret behind people with different backgrounds getting along better than biological families? Choi Yun-mi said, "We have grown together continuously from the very beginning. We have already become older sisters and younger siblings, so even if my circumstances change and my environment becomes different, no dividing lines are drawn." She added, "As for how much responsibility to take at the boundary of their family, that is something you think about when that situation actually arises."

From a relationship of meeting casually once a week, they became companions who built a house and lived together. Their challenge to go far together raises expectations for the realization of a new kind of family.

(SBS funE Editor Kim Hyo-jung)

▶ Started Once a Week... Strangers Gather to Form Tribes as an 'Intermittent Family'
▶ 'Aunts' Filling the Void of Parents... Singles Who Became Babysitters
※ Please note: This article was translated by AI and may contain errors.